Public Comment

I was at a gas station this morning, a place I frequent (because I'm addicted to a product they sell), and an employee there made a remark that made me think.

You can't judge a person by outward appearance. Yet, he looked like a former sheriff or CHP officer--very tall and very stocky, not too big of a gut, shaved head, no tattoos visible, Caucasian--not to insult or deny nonwhite cops or cops with tattoos, or cops who don't look like cops. Notwithstanding, the gentleman exudes and seems to have the attitude of law enforcement. And certainly, the way he behaves matches that.

(Not that I have anything against that. Most law enforcement seem to do a fairly good job of watching out for public safety, and our society is not close to utopian. Although the exceptions to this are many, Homo Sapiens haven't reached a level of thinking that would allow us not to need cops of some kind.)

The employee, likely a manager of the gas station--or at least he acts that way--has always been friendly toward me.

When I first got to the gas station, the door was locked. Then a moment later, the employee/manager/cop appeared and opened the door for me. He said, "Sorry about that, I had to check the bathroom--we had one of those strange people in there." Maybe he isn't aware that I am potentially, also, "one of those strange people." And. when he'd made that remark, I was surprised and disappointed. I guess I am naive. 

In times past, Black people and others whom our society has treated automatically as villains, were considered garbage, and this was the accepted norm. Black people have never been "garbage." Caucasian people were not willing to treat Black people and other people of color as equals, or to reserve "judgment" until they saw a person's speech and behavior. Maybe for a lot of people, the thought never occurred. For others, they might've feared becoming a social outcast themselves due to affording basic decency to minorities. 

Yet, toward a white person, I'm guessing white people were fine. Apparently back then racism was the norm, and you could be considered a good person in spite of or even because of being racist. The term "racist," or "racism" might not have yet existed. 

In modern times, it is established that racism and homophobia are not socially acceptable. Now, in today's culture, people are finding other ways to hate. Calling someone, "one of those strange people," that is hate. It could be a mild instance of hate, but it qualifies. Even if people do not get violent in speech or action, even if people do not make overt remarks of hatred, the hate exists because someone is being dehumanized. 

I'm finding that many people actively dislike me because I'm me. I sometimes get what you'd term harassment calls, because I was seen at a bank, was seen bringing a relative to the emergency room at a hospital or was seen near a particular part of the hospital that provides acupuncture. I was at a social event, and someone commented that I was wearing a nice shirt--the remark was made in the vein that it was suspicious for me to wear a nice shirt. Another person commented that I seemed to have a nice apartment--as though I shouldn't have that. 

I was at a Community Center in (I won't specify what city), a number of years ago, because a writer's group met there. A staff member questioned: What is Jack Bragen doing here? Fortunately, a fellow writer who headed the group backed me up and asserted I was there for a good reason and had participated in the group a long time. 

Am I the subject of suspicion because I'm Jack Bragen, or because I'm mentally ill? I think it is a little of both. 

The problem we have in the U.S. is that people have not learned to stop hating. We've only learned that it is not acceptable to hate people because of skin color or sexual orientation. People haven't learned yet that we shouldn't be hating anyone. 

I'm capable of hate. I hate individuals who, in some way, have attacked me, or people who intentionally threaten me. Maybe I shouldn't hate people who are out to get me, but that's how I feel. In a perfect society a lot of things will be different. If human beings survive another two hundred years, we might have a chance of achieving a utopia.