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My condition, and being heavily medicated for it, over time, has caused me to have fewer capabilities in some areas of life. It is harder for me to drive a car than it once was. (Albeit, some of this difficulty stems from increased unpredictability of other drivers, who are talking on the phone and/or texting while driving, or perhaps they got their driver's license out of the proverbial Cracker Jack box.)  

Nonetheless, I don't even get behind the wheel if there is a chance my driving will be compromised by fatigue, being too stressed, or other. I have stopped driving to Oregon to see in-laws. At some point, if I can be on less medication and have improved stamina, I will resume doing that. 

My ability to do certain things is "shot," no longer available, because of the effects of medication, weight, age, and multiple phobias.  

However, in some areas of life, I am better off than I was. In my past, the effects of my illness combined with not having a good source of advice, one to which I would actually listen, caused me to think and behave with a lack of clarity. I had a deficiency of common sense. People would sometimes tell me things that I was doing wrong, and I wouldn't hear it.  

Today's environment is harder in a number of ways to adapt to, yet in many ways I am adapting. The longer I remain in treatment, the more I am able to learn from my experiences.  

I wasn't born wise. Other people had a lot more sense than I at a much younger age. Thus, they were not subject to as many errors in their life path, and the result is that people who were once my peers are better off than I am in their life circumstances.  

Yet, I haven't given up, and I continue to learn new things. Somehow, I've made it this far, and many persons with my condition by my age are deceased, incarcerated, or are at least under supervision in outpatient institutionalization.  

Paranoid Schizophrenia is a major psychiatric condition. Yet, I am learning more things about how to survive in an increasingly complex environment.  

I have more limitations than in my past concerning going places and doing things. Notwithstanding, I have achieved what I believe to be clarity of thought. I owe a lot of this to good influences in my life. The foremost of these is my wife, who doesn't hold back her opinion, and this includes things I may not want to hear.  

An ongoing commitment to being compliant with treatment, for me, has been essential and non-negotiable, and has allowed me not to have any psychotic episodes since 1996, and this might wrongly introduce doubt about whether I really do have paranoid schizophrenia.  

Sanity for someone with my condition, takes a very long time to construct, yet it can become obliterated in a very short time.  

The only way to "beat the system," for someone with mental illness, is to cooperate with it. This doesn't mean you must believe everything counselors tell you. They may try to tell you who you are. If you accept that and become a passive recipient of treatment, you could be rewarded with some chocolate cupcakes or a slice of pizza on occasion. If that is good enough for you, go for it; believe what they're telling you.  

Staying in treatment and doing nothing else doesn't guarantee improvement. Some type of effort toward doing better, doing something constructive, or doing something interesting, is necessary. The brain's condition will get better if we exercise the mind.  

Since many psychiatric medications have a tendency to shut things down, extra effort at challenging activities is necessary. Taking heavy psychiatric medications, if combined with not doing very much, could possibly cause the brain to atrophy.  

It could be an uncomfortable emotion to want something more for yourself than what is offered by the mental health system. Yet, what are we here for?