AMERICAN CONSERVATORY THEATER
CLOSING -- "Round and Round the Garden," by Alan Ayckbourn, through May 23. Librarian Norman channels Casanova in his fervent attempts to seduce his two sisters-in-law, as well as his estranged wife during a weekend family gathering.
Geary Theater, 415 Geary St., San Francisco. (415) 749-2228, www.actsf. org.<
BATS IMPROV THEATRE
"BATS Improv," through May 29, Friday, 8 p.m. BATS presents themed improv theater nights. $17-$20.
All shows at 8 p.m. unless otherwise noted. Bayfront Theatre, Building B, Third Floor, Fort Mason Center, Marina Boulevard and Buchanan Street, San Francisco. (415) 474-8935, www.improv.org.<
CHANCELLOR HOTEL UNION SQUARE
"Eccentrics of San Francisco's Barbary Coast," Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. Audiences gather for a 90-minute show abounding with local anecdotes and lore presented by captivating and consummate conjurers and tale-tellers. $30.
433 Powell St., San Francisco. (877) 784-6835, www.chancellorhotel.com.<
"The Clown Cabaret at the Climate," First Monday of the month, 7 and 9 p.m. Hailed as San Francisco's hottest ticket in clowning, this show blends rising stars with seasoned professionals on the Climate Theater's intimate stage. $10-$15.
285 Ninth St., Second Floor, San Francisco. www.climatetheater.com.<
CLOSING -- "Tender Stone," through May 16, 8 p.m. ARTSHIP Ensemble performs an original theater piece with an interpretive exhibition based on the nurturing wisdom of women storytellers of the Persian and Mogul empires. (800) 838-3006.
1310 Mission St., San Francisco. (415) 626-2060, www.counterpulse.org.<
"In the Heights," through June 13, Tuesday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, 2 p.m.; May 16, 7:30 p.m. Hear the story about the bonds that develop in a vibrant, tight-knit community at the top of the island of Manhattan. $30-$99.
445 Geary St., San Francisco. (415) 512-7770, www.shnsf.com or www.bestofbroadway-sf.com.<
CUTTING BALL THEATER
"'Bone to Pick' and 'Diadem'," May 21 through June 20. Eugene Chan's "Bone to Pick'' reimagines the myth of Ariadne, Theseus and the Minotaur in a postmodern exploration of love, war and complicity. "Diadem,'' also by Chan, is a romantic retelling of the earlier parts of Ariadne's myth.
The EXIT Stage Left, 156 Eddy St., San Francisco. (415) 419-3584, www.cuttingball.com.<
"First in the Jerome Kern Celebration," through May 24, Wednesday, 7 p.m.; Thursday and Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 6 p.m.; Sunday, 3 p.m. 42nd Street Moon presents a giddy romp that takes the old "barn musical'' plot and turns it on its head. $38-$44.
THE JEWISH THEATER SAN FRANCISCO
CLOSING -- "Andy Warhol: Good for the Jews?" by Josh Kornbluth, through May 16, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 and 7 p.m. This one-man performance examines the legacy of Andy Warhol and the ten Jewish luminaries he painted. $15-$45.
470 Florida St., San Francisco. (415) 292-1233, www.tjt-sf.org.<
"Fauxgirls," Every third Saturday Drag cabaret revue features San Francisco's finest female impersonators.
1351 Polk St., San Francisco. (415) 885-4535, www.denkitiger. com/.<
"The Mock Cafe," Stand-up comedy performances. Saturday, 10 p.m. $7.
"The Monday Night Marsh," An ongoing series of works-in-progress. Monday, 8 p.m. $7.
EXTENDED -- "The Real Americans," by Dan Hoyle, through May 30, Thursday and Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 5 p.m. Fleeing the liberal bubble of San Francisco and his hipster friends, Hoyle spent 100 days traveling through small-town America in search of some tough country wisdom and a way to bridge America's urban/rural divide. $15-$35.
CLOSING -- "Geezer," by Geoff Hoyle, through May 23, Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 8:30 p.m.; Sunday, 8 p.m.; May 9, 8 p.m. Hoyle reminisces of his youth in England and young manhood in America. $20-$35.
1062 Valencia St., San Francisco. (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org.<
MISSION CULTURAL CENTER FOR LATINO ARTS
"DIS-oriented," May 14, 8 p.m. Featuring "All Atheists Are Muslim,'' by Zahra Noorbakhsh, "Soft Tissue,'' by Colleen "Coke'' Nakamoto and "Fortunate Daughter'' by Thao P. Nguyen. $15-$20.
Gallery admission: $2. Gallery hours: Tuesday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. 2868 Mission St., San Francisco. (415) 643-1115, www.missionculturalcenter.org.<
NEW CONSERVATORY THEATRE CENTER
"Proud and Bothered," through June 26, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. Gomez, a professional Gay Pride MC takes the walk of shame in this comedic tell-all. $22-$34.
25 Van Ness Ave., San Francisco. (415) 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org.<
OPENING -- "The Breath of Life," by David Hare, May 21 through June 6, 8 p.m. Two women betrayed by the same man meet. $18-$25.
2840 Mariposa St., San Francisco. <
"ShortLived 3.0," through June 26, Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. The largest audience-judged playwrighting competetion in the nation returns with experienced playwrights, unknown up-and-comers and local, independent theater companies. $20. www.pianofight.com.
CLOSING -- "City Solo," through May 23, Sunday, 7 p.m. Program features four short pieces, written and performed by the solo artists themselves, including Monica Bhatangar, Susan Ito, Kathy Jetnil-Kijner, Sarah Weidman and Nicole Maxali. $15.
965 Mission St., San Francisco. <
CLOSING -- "Wicked," Tuesday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, 2 p.m.; Oct. 11 and Dec. 27, 7:30 p.m.; Nov. 27, 2 p.m.; Dec. 21 and 28, 8 p.m. "Wicked'' is the untold story of the witches of Oz. Long before Dorothy drops in, two other girls meet in the land of Oz. One, born with emerald-green skin, is smart, fiery and misunderstood. The other is beautiful, ambitious and very popular. "Wicked'' tells the story of their remarkable odyssey, how these two unlikely friends grow to become the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch. $30-$99.
1192 Market St., San Francisco. (415) 512-7770, www.shnsf.com.<
PIER 39 -- A pier filled with shops, restaurants, theaters and entertainment of all sorts from sea lions to street performers.
"SAN FRANCISCO CAROUSEL" -- The Pier's two-tiered, San Francisco-themed carousel with hand-crafted ponies that rock and move up and down and tubs that spin. In addition, carousel has hand-painted pictures of San Francisco scenes like the Golden Gate Bridge, Chinatown and Coit Tower. $3 per ride. "FREQUENT FLYERS'' -- A bungee trampoline where people can safely jump and flip over 20 feet in the air thanks to the help of bungee cords and a harness. Jumpers must weigh at least 30 pounds and not more than 230 pounds. $10 per session. (415) 981-6300.
"RIPTIDE ARCADE" -- A 6,000-square-foot, surfer-themed arcade offering the Bay area's only 10-gun, Old West-style shooting gallery and 100 cuttingedge video games, virtual reality units and popular novelty games. Included are the "Dance Dance Revolution'' game, driving and roller coaster simulators, the "Global VR Vortex'' virtual reality machine, "Star Wars Trilogy,'' "Jurassic Park,'' "Rush 2049,'' and classics such as "Pac Man'' and "Galaga.'' Games are operated by 25-cent tokens and range in price from 25 cents to $1.50. Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to 11 p.m.; through Feb. 26: Sunday through Thursday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. (415) 981-6300.
"TURBO RIDE" -- Three simulated rides where the hydraulic seats move in synchronization with events on a giant screen are available at the Turbo Ride complex. The 12-minute-long rides in 3-D and 4-D are: "Dino Island II''; "Haunted Mine Ride,'' and "Extreme Log Ride.'' $12 general for one ride; $8 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for one ride; $15 general for two rides; $11 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for two rides; $18 general for multi-rides; $14 seniors and children ages 3 to 12 for multi-rides. (415) 392-8872.
STUDIO 39 MAGIC CARPET RIDES -- A comedy action adventure utilizing special effects to created a personalized movie with visitors as the "stars'' flying above San Francisco. The Magic Carpet Ride is free. No reservations required. Ride is approximately five minutes. Personalized videos will be available for $30 for one: $10 for each additional tape. (415) 397-3939. SEA LIONS -- California sea lions, nicknamed "Sea Lebrities,'' "hauled out'' on Pier 39's K-Dock shortly after the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake and by January of 1990 had taken over the docks. Due to a plentiful supply of herring and a protected environment, the population has grown and now reaches as many as 900 during the winter months. Weather permitting, free educational talks are provided by Marine Mammal Center volunteers on Saturday and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. Free. (415) 705-5500.
"Tony n' Tina's Wedding," The original interactive comedy hit where audience members play the roles of "invited guests'' at a fun-filled wedding ceremony. The popular dinner comedy performs at Swiss Louis Italian Restaurant. Thursday-Saturday, 7 p.m.; Matinees: Thursday and Saturday, noon. $88.50-$115.50. (888) 775-6777, www.pier39shows.com.
"Insignificant Others," by L. Jay Kuo, A musical comedy about the romantic foibles of two gay men and three straight women who move to San Francisco from the Midwest seeking love and adventure. Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. $39-$46. www.isomusical.com.
Free. 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; certain attractions and shops have differing hours. The Embarcadero and Beach Street, San Francisco. (415) 623-5300, (800) SEADIVE, www.pier39.com.<
SAN FRANCISCO COMEDY COLLEGE CLUBHOUSE (800) 838-3006, www.clubhousecomedy.com.
"Naked Comedy," A comedy showcase featuring some of the best comedians in San Francisco. BYOB for 21 and over. Saturdays, 9 p.m. $10.
"Hump Day Comedy," Host Rich Stimbra and a variety of stand-up comics will get you over the Wednesday work hump. BYOB for 21 and over. Wednesday, 8 p.m. $5.
414 Mason St., Suite 705, San Francisco. (415) 921-2051, www.sfcomedycollege.com.<
"Shopping! The Musical," by Morris Bobrow, A quick-paced musical about those obsessed with buying things. Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m. $27-$29. www.shoppingthemusical.com.
Big City Improv, Friday, 10 p.m. $20. (510) 595-5597, www.bigcityimprov.com.