Press Releases

A rifle in one hand 

And skirts to your knee, 

OK in Alaska, 

A bust as VP. 

You love your relations, 

And stick to the law, 

Except when it comes 

To your brother-in-law. 

You’ve plenty of charm 

And you’re certainly pretty, 

But you’ve not had to manage 

Any really big city. 

You’ve not been to Russia, 

Baghdad or Great Britain. 

International leader? 

You’re just a wee kitten. 

You’re not above spreading 

Political sleeze 

In the hope your opponents 

Just fall to their knees. 

The right to abortion? 

Your position’s no mystery. 

If you get elected, 

Roe v. Wade becomes history. 

If you get to the White House, 

The Dems will all grieve. 

Forget flailin’ on Palin! 

We’re bailin’—let’s leave!