By Jack Bragen
Monday May 13, 2013 - 10:26:00 AM

Self-coaching might consist of you telling yourself positive things, some of which might be affirmations, in order to deal with a situation. If a situation brings anxiety or apprehension, or if challenging to face, self-coaching can make it easier and can sometimes make the outcome better. 

People who are disabled are sometimes given a job coach. However, when the positive messages are generated by oneself, without the need for external help, it can be better for self esteem. 

In a job, self coaching might consist of assuring oneself that one can perform a task, and/or that everything is going okay. If a person has negative anticipation about something, coaching oneself can help with that. The term, "self-assurance" implies that a person is reassuring their self. When someone creates their own confidence, it equips them to successfully deal with a number of things in life. 

When an Olympic gymnast stumbles during a floor routine, or when a performer trips and falls in front of hundreds of people in their audience, they normally do not have a meltdown and run away, they get back up and finish their performance. The truism says that if you stumble, you are supposed to get back up. This is one example of the usefulness of self-coaching. 

Self coaching can help a person remain focused on the task at hand, and not get sidetracked by internal, self-critical thoughts which detract. A housekeeper (working for my wife and I) broke a picture frame by accident. I did not make a negative comment, nor did I criticize her-I continued to be confident in this person's ability. This helped in producing a good outcome. And I assume that the housekeeper had her own internal system for remaining confident. 

When worried about a future scenario, it is good to visualize it in advance, and deal with the emotions and the thoughts that come up. This prepares you for dealing with a situation in which, at that time, you may not have the option of stopping what you are doing to deal with the detracting thoughts and emotions. This could apply to a political candidate making an important speech, or could be used by someone who has difficulty going to the store and buying a loaf of bread. 

Affirmations can be used by anyone, disabled or not, across the entire demographic spectrum, and in a wide variety of situations. 

Sometimes it is a good idea to get a sheet of paper (yes, actual paper and not an I Pad) and write down affirmations that you have thought of. If the thoughts that you are going to use have come from you, they have a better chance of being effective, rather than if you are adopting someone else's ideas. Because someone else's ideas might feel foreign, they might be rejected by your subconscious. 

It helps not to program oneself with absolutes. This means you shouldn't program yourself with the thought "I am invincible," or "nothing can stop me." You are better off keeping things milder. A good thought with which to program one's mind might be something like, "Yes, I am capable of doing this job." Another might be "I am safe when I am at the Laundromat." 

Self-coaching can include, but is not limited to, affirmative thoughts that boost one's self-confidence and self-esteem. You might tell yourself something like, "People do like me," or "I am intelligent and good-looking." You can also work to undo some paranoid beliefs, if that is applicable. You could affirm the thought, "It is probably my imagination that people are out to get me." 

Self-coaching is a form of autosuggestion, and is applicable to numerous challenging or difficult situations. It can be used in social or work situations, or anything that is anxiety producing. The subconscious often takes things literally, so anything you repeat to yourself enough times will probably be incorporated. It won't change your surroundings although it might seem to, since it can change how you interpret your surroundings. It can change an intolerable situation into a viable one. This is accomplished simply with the change in attitude that will be produced by using affirmations.