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In late 1984, about a year after my second bout with severe psychosis, I applied for services from State of California Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, in hopes of going back to work.  

I was referred by Vocational Rehab to an electronics training program. I completed that, and went on to get my first electronics job, in television repair. My case at VR was closed, and it seemed as though I was to live happily ever after with my new electronic repair career.  

Not so fast. The television repair job ended a year later when the company folded. I did a job search and went to work for a photocopy and office equipment servicing company. The job was too stressful. At about the same time, I experienced extreme stresses in my personal life, about which I am not at liberty to detail.  

I might have just barely scraped by in the photocopy repair company had it not been for my personal problems. I ended up quitting the job in a very irresponsible manner. This was the beginning of having chronic problems with employment. I had experienced numerous traumatic events in connection with work.  

Over a period of years, I obtained numerous jobs, some of which I was good at, while others were too difficult. Department of Rehab was unhappy with me because I kept coming back to them. Their model was that a disabled person would come to them for help, the person would receive training and/or other help, they would get a job, and they would live happily ever after.  

Here's an analogy: If you have a malfunctioning television, and you bring it in for repair, the technicians there will not blame the television, berate it and call it names in order to fix it. The TV set needs to be diagnosed, and that's the only way it will again work.  

In my twenties, I had specific issues that needed to be addressed concerning employment, issues that hadn't been identified at the time. Instead, the counselor at VR blamed me, said I was immature, and ultimately became part of the problem rather than the solution. Family wasn't much better. My parents didn't understand why I kept getting jobs and quitting them. 

There are several problems that I see with the Department of Vocational Rehab. They are not geared to providing ongoing counseling and other assistance for disabled people who are trying to stay in a job. Many persons with psychiatric disabilities should have ongoing help and support in their quest to succeed in employment. Once things are up and running, it is not time to withdraw support.  

It is not automatically a given that a random person, disabled or not, is able to do given job. Some can do some things, some can do others. There are jobs that are too hard for most people, and there are jobs that almost anyone can do. Most jobs are an exertion.  

In order to maintain employment, most people need a "support system" in which people provide encouragement. Most people must be rested before work. Most must make an effort in order to produce adequate performance. And other things are needed. Jobs entail work, this in turn entails that we are ready to produce that work.  

Post-traumatic stress, being on heavy medications for decades, and having been outside the regular work force for a number of years, at this point, mean that it would not be practicable for me to try meaningful, standard employment at this point in life.  

Most paid writing jobs seem to be within a corporate environment, and I could not conceivably adapt to that.  

I am unhappy that Department of Vocational Rehabilitation doesn't address my situation or my current needs. They do not assist anyone in becoming self-employed. They will not pay for college unless you are a full-time student. They will not work with someone who has long term difficulties and long-term need for assistance and support.  

The criteria under which they operate prevents them from addressing the needs of many people with chronic mental illness. Their system entails giving specific assistance with a specific goal, and when it is reached, they close that individual's case. Many people who need career help can't function in accordance with that.  

{A tangential note is that some of the counselors at Department of Rehab routinely underestimate people. My wife, who has a Bachelor's Degree from a very good college was sent to training to become a motel maid. In my most recent attempt at obtaining help from them, they gave me testing, but they would not give me the results of it, and claimed that the individual responsible for scoring me had become ill and had to leave. It seems as though counselors at Department of Rehab have a need to assume that their clients aren't capable of much.}  

On the other hand, the electronics training that I underwent, and the ensuing electronics jobs, continues to help my quality of life to this day. I have adapted those skills to being proficient with computers. (In addition, I took computer repair classes on my own.) 

Computer ability is essential to my current endeavors as a writer. I am not dependent on supposed experts to handle my computer issues. This is a good thing, since I would have no way to pay for such services. Instead, I sometimes help family and friends with their computer issues.  

I am grateful for the services Department of Vocational Rehabilitation did provide. However, I wish they could do more for me, and I believe their system is flawed.