Extra

Editor’s note:

We received a copy of the letter which was originally printed below, which was addressed to the author of the Pepper Spray Times, and it was followed by a series of ever more urgent requests for a retraction. The writer has now informed us that the letter was not intended for publication, so it has been deleted.

The Berkeley Daily Planet does not exercise editorial control over the Pepper Spray Times, which is produced by a freelance writer who is not paid for her work. It is stored in .pdf form and we cannot alter it—we simply link to the .pdf file. Therefore we are not in a position to retract its specific contents.

It is not clear to us exactly how a publication could retract satire, anyway.

We do know that it’s satire, and knowing that we certainly accept Mr. Goldhaber’s contention that he didn’t actually use the foolish words attributed to him under Grace Underpressure’s byline. (Let’s hope not!) We also believe that he doesn’t swear in public, if he says so.  

However we cannot endorse Mr. Goldhaber’s charge that Ms. Underpressure is not “concerned about sea life as well as human life.” It seems to us that she would make fun of sea life and/or human life anytime she felt like it. 

We also do not think that Dr. Swift actually believed that eating Irish babies was a good way to deal with famine, though with our Irish connections we find his satire disturbing.  

Also, we reject W.C. Field’s opinion that when the first prize is a week in Philadelphia, the second prize is two weeks in Philadelphia. Having recently visited Philadelphia, we think that’s libel—it’s a very nice city.  

And also, Pittsburgh did not vote for Trump, no matter what he says.