Arts & Events

Altered Christmas Carols in honor of the DBA*

Carol Denney
Friday December 04, 2015 - 11:17:00 AM

(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Chorus: profits first! profits first

civil rights can wait

all we want are shoppers

even if they’re full of ha--ate!

kick the poor off the streets

they’re just in the way

we don’t really need a law

to jail the poor today 

 

(verse 1) we’re the DBA 

and we have some advice 

we can make big dough 

on the housing crisis 

if you’ve got a roll 

you’re welcome here in town 

but if you’re poor then here’s the door 

you can't just hang around (chorus) 

 

(verse 2) maybe it's unkind 

but try to understand 

you’re better off in jail 

unless you’ve got a grand 

here’s a ticket for you 

we do it ‘cause we care 

public streets are really neat 

unless the poor are there (chorus)  

 

 

*Downtown Berkeley Association – they wrote the anti-panhandling, the anti-sitting law, & the anti-stuff law 

 

 

 

(to the tune of Silent Night) 

 

where are the poor 

sleeping tonight 

housing is a human right 

I got a ticket for just sitting down 

I got a ticket asleep on the ground 

I got a ticket for Christmas 

at least they were thinking of me 

 

ticket me now  

ticket me now 

I tried to get rich 

but I don’t know how 

Berkeley streets now belong to the rich 

everyone else can go sleep in a ditch 

I got a ticket for Christmas 

at least they were thinking of me  

 

if I lie down 

they get in my face 

I thought this 

was public space 

these “ambassadors” act like it’s theirs 

talk about it but nobody cares 

I got a ticket for Christmas 

at least they were  

thinking of me  

 

where are the poor 

sleeping tonight 

housing is  

a human right 

I got a ticket for just sitting down 

I got a ticket asleep on the ground 

I got a ticket for Christmas 

at least they were thinking of me 

(to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High) 

 

city council up on high 

who’s in charge of your police 

none of you can tell me why 

they won’t leave the poor in peace 

oh…….city councilmembers 

please won’t you say something 

oh…….city councilmembers 

please won’t you say something now 

 

is this the best you can do 

all these stupid Christmas lights 

can’t the poor enjoy them too 

don’t we have some civil rights? 

(chorus) 

 

your police have swept away 

all my friends and even me 

for just being here today 

for just sitting peacefully 

(chorus) 

 

rich people get asked to stay 

poor people get asked to leave 

we’re so tired of going to jail 

for the things that we believe 

(chorus) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(to the tune of Joy to the World) 

 

guess who’s in charge of this whole town 

it is the DBA! 

they run the city council 

they run the police department 

they’ll run you out of town 

they’ll run you out of town 

if you have no money just get out of town 

 

guess who’s in charge of your civil rights 

it is the DBA! 

you’d better hope they like you 

‘cause otherwise they’ll bite you 

they’ll run you out of town 

they’ll run you out of town 

if you have no money just get out of town 

 

guess who’s in charge of public streets 

it is the DBA! 

if you put up a poster 

you will not win a toaster 

they’ll run you out of town 

they’ll run you out of town 

if you have no money just get out of town 

 

guess who’s in charge of elections 

it is the DBA! 

except for Measure S 

they lose a few I guess, but 

they’ll run you out of town 

they’ll run you out of town 

if you have no money just get out of town 

 

 

(to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree)

oh, DBA, oh DBA
 

what happened to your conscience
oh, DBA, oh DBA
what happened to your conscience
you chase the poor at Christmastime
for simply asking for a dime
oh, DBA, oh DBA
what happened to your conscience
 

 

oh, DBA, oh DBA 

you’re just a bunch of bullies 

oh, DBA, oh DBA 

you’re just a bunch of bullies 

we need to eat we need to sit 

and sometimes even take a shit 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

you’re just a bunch of bullies 

 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

you spend a lot of money 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

you spend a lot of money 

a little bit on Christmas lights 

a lot destroying human rights 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

you spend a lot of money 

 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

we wish we had your budget 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

we wish we had your budget 

for all you’ve spent getting nothing done 

we probably could house everyone 

oh DBA, oh DBA 

we wish we had your budget 

(to the tune of Oh, Come All Ye Faithful) 

 

what’s wrong with our county 

and our city council 

why are there families living 

out on the street? 

why do our planners  

only build for rich people? 

they keep on building condos 

they keep on building condos 

they keep on building condos 

that we can’t afford  

 

why do these merchants 

let themselves be harnessed 

for fascist agendas of  

the DBA? 

real estate interests are  

driving the agenda 

of chasing round the homeless 

of chasing round the homeless 

of chasing round the homeless 

all over town 

 

no correlation 

exists between panhandlers 

and depressed effects on the 

economy 

our public spaces 

should belong to all of us 

let’s take back public spaces 

let’s take back public spaces 

let’s take back public spaces 

and our civil rights 

 

 

 

(to the tune of Away in a Manger) 

 

away in a dumpster 

with no place to go 

the young, poor and homeless 

just try to lay low 

the stupid ambassadors 

chase them around 

the same here in Berkeley 

as every damn town 

 

what’s wrong with our city 

that won’t house the poor 

why won’t they build low 

cost housing no more? 

our dumb politicians 

don’t return our calls 

developers have most of 

them by the balls 

 

we have empty buildings  

to shelter the poor 

just call off the cops we'll build 

campgrounds galore 

community values  

support those in need 

but our politicians  

are harnessed by greed 

 

just follow the money 

you’ll see what we mean 

these green shirts aren’t here 

just to keep the streets clean 

ambassador fascists 

are DBA staff 

the rich get well treated 

the poor get the shaft 

(to the tune of The First Noel) 

 

the DBA doesn’t represent me 

but it wants to control 

everything that we see 

public streets and public space 

public benches downtown 

you can’t hang out in public 

if a green shirt’s around 

DBA, DBA, DBA, DBA 

why is this town run by the DBA? 

 

if you look like you have dough 

then they welcome you in 

if you’re poor then they’ll sweep you 

right into the bin 

they tried hard to make a crime 

out of just sitting down 

out of panhandling too 

and just hanging around 

DBA, DBA, DBA, DBA 

why is this town run by the DBA? 

 

politicians really suck 

when they scapegoat the poor 

instead of putting vacancy fees 

on empty stores 

we kicked Measure S butt 

and we will not back down
these ambassadors need to get
 

run out of town 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Town Is Not For Sale (Mary Don't You Weep)  

 

(chorus) oh, Mary don’t you weep don’t you mourn 

oh, Mary don’t you weep don’t you mourn 

greed's not one of our values 

our town is not for sale 

 

big money's in the house today 

buy your ticket and pay to play...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

politicians look so crass 

lining up to kiss developers' ass...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

all they build in this town to rent 

is luxury housing for the 1%......greed etc.  

 

Skinner used to be on our side 

til developers took her for a real sweet ride...greed etc.  

 

one of these days and it won't be long 

Skinner's (Caner's, Bates is) going to learn to sing this song... ...greed etc.  

 

if I could I surely would  

shut down the DBA for good...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

one of these days and it won’t be long 

Caner’s going to have to move along...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

one of these nights around twelve o’clock 

this old town’s gonna really rock...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

Caner’s mad and you know what for 

he can’t tear down our posters anymore...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

long as they kick the poor around 

take my shopping to another town...greed etc. (chorus) 

 

(to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen) 

 

god rest ye, merry gentlemen 

unless you’re on the street 

in that case you had better learn 

to keep moving your feet 

we’d love you if you had a lot 

of money but you don’t 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

out of town 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

 

we used to care for strangers but 

we don’t care anymore 

two square feet of stuff or else  

we’re showing you the door 

our holiday tradition here 

is kicking round the poor 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

out of town 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

 

you ask why not building housing for 

the people on the street? 

offending rich developers 

means election defeat 

and you can read the story right here 

on our balance sheet 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

out of town 

here’s a bus ticket somewhere out of town 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(to the tune of It Came Upon a Midnight Clear) 

 

we’re sleeping in the midnight clear 

because we have nowhere to go 

we can’t afford the rent anymore 

we don’t have that kind of dough 

the rich have housing and we have none 

it just doesn’t seem very fair 

but Maio, Droste, Bates, Capitelli 

and Moore do not seem to care 

 

the people of Berkeley are fast asleep 

they think we’re a liberal town 

they think it's just a big mystery 

that there's no housing around 

there are no jobs housing shelter space 

or campgrounds but still they can’t see 

why everybody can’t just go home 

they say, “it's working for me!” 

 

until the voters turn out to vote 

we’re stuck with this cheese-headed crew 

so when you meet the non-voters we 

hope you’ll encourage them to  

please boot this council majority  

stupidity’s tipping the scale 

unseat these losers and do it soon 

before this town is for sale 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(to the tune of Deck the Halls) 

 

deck the halls with fake compassion, 

fa la la la la, la la la la 

jail the homeless that’s the fashion, fa la etc. 

decorate with shiny plastic, fa la etc.  

profits make you feel fantastic, fa la etc. 

 

hail the DBA before us, fa la… 

tales of poverty just bore us, fa la… 

we don’t care who sleeps in doorways, fa la… 

just so we get rich in more ways, fa la… 

 

don’t believe the Daily Planet, fa la etc. 

if you see a copy can it, fa la etc. 

big developers are truthful, fa la etc. 

and, of course, their money’s useful, fa la etc. 

 

you can suck my dick Jon Caner, fa la etc. 

can we make it any plainer? , fa la etc. 

while you are enjoying turkey, fa la etc. 

we will be boycotting Berkeley, , fa la etc. 

 

all our favorite stores are gone now, fa la etc. 

this repression can’t go on now, fa la etc. 

leases no one can afford now, fa la etc. 

think it’s time to cut the cord now, fa la etc. 

 

hear the Department of Justice, fa la etc. 

DOJ says you are busted, fa la etc. 

HUD says they will stop the money, fa la etc. 

criminalization isn’t funny, fa la etc.