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ON MENTAL ILLNESS: The Harmful Side of the Success Ethic

Jack Bragen
Friday October 16, 2015 - 12:49:00 PM

Most people are "successful" at most of the things they try to do. Yet many people who suffer from low self-esteem incorrectly believe themselves to be unsuccessful people, and generate negative, self-hating emotions accordingly. Comparing our levels of outward success to those of others is a bad habit that we have learned through unconscious assimilation. Society promulgates a misnomer that we need to have external success (as defined by certain criteria, especially having a lot of money), and if we do not have that, we don't deserve to like ourselves.  

Many persons with mental illness get upset if they feel they can't compete in the job market. Yet, psychiatric illness, the effects of medication, and indoctrination into the mental health system (in which we are given low expectations) combine into a huge disadvantage if seeking work. Yet, in the absence of a job, mentally ill people often do not feel they deserve self-appreciation.  

Despite the overwhelming barriers to employment faced by mentally ill persons, employed acquaintances may pull a superiority trip. People who work in the mental health treatment system may presume themselves superior, and so might people at large, since they incorrectly equate being a valid person with having professional employment. Thus, the pressure is real, and it doesn't originate with us.  

In my late twenties and early thirties, I finally reached a point where I acknowledged that my psychiatric illness made me disabled, and I began to accept myself as a person, without applying unrealistic standards to myself. I lived for "the now," and I began to appreciate the good or even the interesting things in my experience of life. I was also somewhat cognitively impaired at the time. However, most of my thinking was on the right track.  

Clarity can be elusive, and when we do not have clarity, we are probably not aware that we don't have clarity. Yet, if we can learn to think clearer, it puts us in a better position to go after whatever it is we might want, or to decide if we really want something after all.  

A possible exercise is to make a list of things you believe you need, and then see what things can be either crossed off of the list, or moved from the "need" category into the "want" or "wish" category. 

We should value ourselves as human beings, regardless of whether or not we live up to self-imposed standards, or the standards of others. We should look toward the things we did do successfully, and should not obsess about perceived shortcomings. We should not let anyone (whether he or she is a parent, a professional, or an acquaintance) tell us that we are not doing "good enough."  

For some practitioners of meditation, the life goals are mostly intangible, and the measure of success is simply how much you can enjoy the experiences of the present moment. Wealth and status aren't necessities. In most teachings of meditation, peacefulness is sought. Or to take it a step farther than that, you are not seeking anything, including peacefulness, you just are.  

While it isn't necessary that we become a Zen master, we can shift the content of our minds and stop thinking about who we supposedly are, and instead we can focus on whatever it is we are experiencing and doing.  

Obtaining treatment for mental illness, if you suffer from that, is an excellent way to keep your head on straight; and then you could be in a position to seek realistic goals, or even to seek meditation. Life is always worthwhile.