Columns

If you live the life of a dependent person, your destiny is determined by other people. For example, I once knew a man in his forties who lived with his parents. I would have lived with parents if I could, but they wisely kicked me out at twenty-four.  

Living independently can be difficult for many young adults, disabled or not. Hopefully, when we get older we develop more of a knack for it, and ultimately never question the ability. There is no doubt that the responsibilities and the challenges of taking care of oneself, or in some cases taking care of offspring, are harder to face for persons with disabilities, compared to those without a disability.  

Not everyone with a mental illness is capable of taking care of himself or herself. In these instances, parents must decide if they are going to continue allowing the offspring to live at home, or place him or her in a living situation in which there is supervision. Sometimes for the development of someone as an adult human being, he or she may need to be nudged out of the nest.  

Long before I was told I had to leave, I was hard enough to live with that kicking me out was a no-brainer. Also, my parents had their own lives and no longer wanted to live with offspring.  

Once on my own, although my parents continued to help with certain things, I had to fend for myself.  

Housing situations designated specifically for person with mental illness often aren’t good. Group homes offer no privacy, bad food, unnecessary restrictions, harassment and theft of personal items. Apartment complexes for mentally ill people in which one has one's own unit still entail harassment by neighbors, such as someone coming to your door at two in the morning for a cigarette.  

A number of drug dealers are able to make their living by lurking in or near mentally ill apartment complexes--preying on vulnerable people, and in some instances assaulting people who inconvenience them or look at them wrong.  

There is one particular bit of quicksand that a number of mentally ill people fall into. In an attempt to escape problematic housing, a person with mental illness might lease an apartment they can not truly afford. This problem becomes even more complicated when roommates are invited in who are not paying rent. This situation can be disastrous.  

Independence does have its pitfalls. And this is more so when one has a disability that in some way limits one's ability to earn money. In order to live independently, a person with mental illness must learn to be proficient in many of the same skills that mainstream people possess, that mentally ill people are often presumed not to have.  

You have to get along with neighbors, or, if not getting along with them, some type of agreement or status quo needs to be reached. You have to budget your money, and this is much more difficult to do when your money is sharply limited. You have to maintain your household. You have to maintain your vehicle.  

(If you try to live in Central Contra Costa or many other areas and rely on the bus to go places, you are likely a masochist. A trip across town or to the adjacent town on the buses in Central Contra Costa is an all-day project. You can be stuck waiting for a bus for up to an hour, and then at a transfer point, an additional hour. This is assuming the drivers are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and this isn't always so. Furthermore, you could be stuck while you are waiting in either the hot sun or pouring rain. If you have a medical condition, you may not be able to withstand that.)  

Additionally, if you are disabled and living on government benefits of various types, which can include Social Security, Medicaid, and Housing, you must periodically deal with the red tape of these institutions. Albeit you might be spared the necessity of filing income tax returns.  

And finally, you must deal with all of the above while at the same time keeping symptoms of mental illness or another disability under control.